Weddings: The gift that keeps on giving

As you all know I recently became a Mrs.

With this title came huge responsibility. After organising, designing and creating countless bits and pieces for the big day I thought my days of crafting were over, until I remembered I had to send out thank you’s.

Thank you’s are a bitch, I’m not going to lie. I really would just rather have flicked everyone a txt and been all like ‘yo, thanks heaps for the sweet presie – it’s totes awesome’ and left it at that. Apparently that’s unacceptable.

So, after the honeymoon I decided I would make it easy on myself and order postcards from the internet – custom made with photos of my choice. Excellent. Minimal work on my part and postcards don’t allow for much space so it’s a win-win, brilliant.

What wasn’t brilliant was the day they arrived.

I ordered 60 postcards and they all arrived, chosen photos on the front, a sweet little message from the newly weds and then I turned it over.

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Right. Well, there you go. Apparently it’s not strange at all to order 60 postcard thank you’s with THE EXACT SAME MESSAGE ON THEM ALL, WHICH ALSO HAPPENS TO BE THE SHOPS SAMPLE MESSAGE.

So, needless to say my email to them went like this:

My husband and I recently ordered 60 thank you postcards from your store. They arrived today and have writing on the back which we did not request. All 60 of them have the same message – I’m not sure why I wasn’t contacted about this, surely someone would have thought it was strange to have 60 postcards thanking “Michelle” for the same gift?

Their response:

We’re sorry to hear that your recent order did not meet your expectations.
Upon closer inspection, it appears that the product design was ordered with the text at the back and unfortunately was printed that way.

No shit Sherlock, I know what the problem is, I want to know why the hell no one else thought it was just a wee bit strange. Or is it normal for people to have weddings where all their guests are called Michelle, and they all bring beautiful silver frames?

To their credit they sorted it quick smart, but it did leave me wondering how on earth some people get on in life.

What’s in a name?

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My name is Holly. 

So why then, do people insist on calling me Colleen? Colleen? Are you serious? I don’t even look like a Colleen.

Polly, Molly or on occasion Dolly I get – it rhymes, but Colleen? Jesus. 

Last week I was at a book launch, I agreed to go along as a guest of the author thinking ‘perfect, we will be best friends all night, I’ll pick her brains about France and we will drink champagne until the tab runs out. Yeah, NO.

I rocked up only to realise I had not thought the whole situation through. I didn’t know anyone else there and the author was busy welcoming everyone in. It suddenly dawned on me I would be forced to either spend the night alone with my phone or attempt to make friends.

I made my way to the bar, grabbed a champers and stood in the middle of the room, willing someone to look at me. An older gentleman caught my eye and I gave him a smile he simply couldn’t refuse. He said hello and I launched into a story about how the venue was actually a nightclub, did he know. Stellar conversation starter on my part I must say. Well, that started what turned out to be a very valuable friendship for the evening, or so I thought. He introduced himself as Peter and I told him my name was Holly.

“Colleen, lovely to meet you”. “Oh no”, I replied, “It’s actually Holly”. “Yes, yes, Colleen, so what do you do?” 

Well what does it matter now, Peter. You’ve just ruined everything. 

Unfortunately, the situation got worse. Peter was one of those people who knew everyone there, and I mean everyone. Being the friendly and helpful gentleman he was, he proceeded to introduce me to everyone he knew . . . as Colleen. So in the end, after attempting to pull every other person aside and correct them, I just embraced it.

So I put to you the question, what is your name and what do people decide they want to call you?