I recently got married and have since changed my name and started a blog. I guess this is what people do when they take on the responsibility of another person for the REST OF THEIR LIFE.

Ha, just kidding – I’m pumped to have to look after someone else, cook for them, do their washing, nag – it’s ideal.

This first post is really just to say hi and welcome you into my world.

I’m a full-time journalist, though none of these ramblings are associated with my employer. I am a Kiwi living in a foreign country, where I have to speak two different languages so my Straya friends can understand me and my NZ friends think I haven’t gone to the dark side or just started magically speaking from my nose.

Have fun reading my tales I know I will enjoy recounting some of the crazy shite that seems to happen to me and those around me.

Firstly, I decided to let everyone in on my secret. I have a gang of cats.

Mr Knees won’t let me have a furry friend so this is what it has come to. I’ve adopted all the cats in the immediate vicinity of the house and they all have names. Some are their real names and some are names I have simply had to give them because I haven’t been able to locate their owners to ask. Mr Knees seems to get embarrassed when this happens but I found out the hard way it’s better to check than to just start talking to people’s cats and calling them names you decided they should have.

My favourite is Lolly (real name). She lives down the road and I only see her when I’m walking home from my day job, but she’s great. She’s super friendly and lets me pat her tummy, which I think totally makes me her best human friend. She’s a Siamese and has a sister called Coco – although Coco can be a bit of a bitch. One wears a blue collar and the other has a red one and I always seem to get them mixed up, but thanks to the lady on the corner I’ve now got it sorted. Blue is Lolly and red is Coco – I can remember this because in real life I like blue better than red.

Then there’s Spence (real name) he’s a ginger and proud of it. He’s mostly a night creature but every now and then I catch a glimpse of him on his outside chair. I’ve only touched him once but it was awesome. Before I spoke to his owner about him I’d called him Gary. Sometimes I still like to call him that but I have to make sure people aren’t around. He has a brother called Nisbit (real name) who only comes out once in a blue moon and mainly hides under cars. I don’t really like him but he’s still part of the gang.

And then there’s Gamy, or Gam Gam (not a real name). He’s (at least I think it’s a boy) a long-haired tabby cat and is super friendly. He got the name because when we first met him he had a gamy eye and unfortunately it was a case of not having a big enough imagination to name him something cool. Anyway, he’s a pretty big fan of getting in-between your legs when you’re carrying the groceries or washing basket and is just generally an all round GC . . . good cat – ha gotcha.

I called them all for a meeting earlier but when they heard it was for a photo-shoot they all panicked and went west, so I’ll have to catch them when they’re least expecting it.

Sometimes I wonder if the neighbours think I’m mental. But then I don’t really care because I’m the one with all the cat friends and not them.