So my dad calls me the other day and we got talking about his terrible jokes, I’m pretty sure I had said something about being hungry and he was like ‘oh hi hungry I’m dad’…yip, cringe, you know the one.

Anyway, what followed was this.

Dad: Why did Lucy fall off the swing?

Me: Because she had no arms. Dad, everyone knows that joke.

Dad: Ok, ok, I’ve got another one. Knock knock

Me: Who’s there?

Dad: Not Lucy.

I was hysterical. Why? I really don’t know, I guess I just wasn’t expecting it.

So I decided to ask my mum what her favourite joke was.

Her reply?

What’s an Irishman with a sugar cube on his head?

Sweet f**k all.

So there you have it folks, the reason my parents live apart.

I don’t have a favourite joke, but I really, really love other people’s jokes. I find it much easier to hear them, learn them and then tell them to other people all while pretending they’re my own. I feel like that’s completely ok.

With the Melbourne International Comedy Festival in full swing, I would love to know – what’s your favourite joke?

Here’s a few to get you started:

Why doesn’t Stevie Wonder see his mates anymore?

He’s married.

What happened to the peanut when he crossed the road?

He was a-salted.

Why does Beyonce sing to the left to the left?

Because black people have no rights.

 

Please note I am not a racist, I just find racist jokes hilarious.